life as understood

I have a good friend named Emily. We've been close for a number of years now. For a little while, we kind of dated. Kind of. It's a long story. We were definitely mutually smitten for a good while, though, and then I went to Russia. So, bad timing. Anyway, I got back, and she married my good buddy Zach, which was wonderful. Then I married Sarah, which was even better. Everybody wins. The point is, you can see how it might have been awkward when I (me) accompanied Emily into the hospital today for her final OB/GYN exam before she gives birth.

It was like a sudden glimpse into a future that never was, like the mediocre Nicolas Cage film, "The Family Man." Emily and I sat down in the waiting room and she handed me a magazine called Baby Talk or something like that, then laughed before de-gifting it and handing me a dated Sports Illustrated instead. It was hard to concentrate on that or anything else, though. The whole thing was too surreal. I surveyed the other occupants of the vast waiting room that was ours, intent on taking full advantage of my glimpse. Other young women at various stages of pregnancy adorned most of the seats, and a few young kids swung on chair legs and fiddled with the toys. I was the only man. For a few moments, I reveled in the envy that my presence was causing among the other women in the waiting room. "There's a husband who cares." I just knew they were saying it. "He'll be a good father." At least, that's how I imagined it, and it was nice. Yes, I will be a good father.

Emily got called into her appointment, and a few minutes later, I had to step briefly out to pick up Sarah, my wife, and drop her off somewhere else for work. The errand took longer than it should have, though, and as I screeched into the hospital parking lot and sprinted in to collect my stranded, bulbous friend, I could almost see the faces of the other women in the waiting room. My time in the sun was over, and the women scowled and remembered why they came to the hospital alone. "What kind of guy leaves his 9-month pregnant wife alone while he gallivants around town, anyway?" But I never had to face them, those women. Emily met me at the door, and the glimpse ended.

Just as it was for Nicolas Cage, my unexpected jaunt into a parallel reality was rather instructive. I learned that fatherhood is comprised of both ups and downs. And it may be that I'm not quite ready for such a volatile milestone. To be honest, I'm not sure I'm ready for two of my closest friends to reach it either, but by next Thursday at the latest, Zach and Emily will. And then, we'll see what happens.

Sarah and I, meanwhile, spent the next little while at McDonald's, where we ordered off the dollar menu, like the carefree kids that we are.